"The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people…Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God." (BCP, 423)

The union of a man and a woman in marriage is profoundly different from every other human association. The uniqueness of marriage in the Christian community is that each of the persons makes a mutual gift of self to the other. Our Lord says that they "are no longer two, but one flesh." In this sacrament each person promises lifetime fidelity and commitment to the other. The Church enters into this promise by blessing the marriage and providing a communal life in which the marriage can grow and mature.

It is important to this Parish Family that the couple realize that they are committing themselves to be a part of Christ and his Church. We are not so much interested in "performing weddings" as we are in preparing people for a lifetime commitment to one another and to God. If a couple is not willing to explore and make that commitment, then they should not seek to be married in the Church.

In order to assist the couple and their families to begin planning with an understanding of the regulations and traditions of the Church for a wedding of beauty, joy and dignity, the following guidelines are provided.

Minimum Notice Required. Under the Canons of the Church, applications for marriage must be made to a priest at least 60 days prior to the date of the wedding. Anything less than sixty days requires special permission from the Bishop.

The Officiating Priest is normally one of the clergy of the Pro-Cathedral, and the couple should make an appointment with that priest. Another clergy person may be invited to assist or officiate only with prior approval of the Dean. No wedding at the Cathedral may be scheduled without approval of the Dean.

Episcopal Church Membership is required by Canon of at least one of the couple, that is, at least one must be a communicant in good standing, a baptized and confirmed person, who is regular in participation in the worship life of the Episcopal Church and is a giver of record. (Title I, Canon 17, Sec.3) Weddings at Saint Mark’s are generally reserved to members of this Parish. If membership is in another parish of the Episcopal Church, permission must be obtained from the Rector or Priest-in-Charge of that parish. For pastoral reasons, non-active sons or daughters of parishioners will need to consult with the Dean before wedding plans can be processed.

Divorce of Either Party, if the former spouse is still living, must be addressed in consultation with the Bishop of Nebraska. The Bishop’s "godly judgement" on whether the priest may bless the marriage depends greatly upon the recommendation of the priest on the basis of his knowledge of the couple. No less than four months should be allowed for this process between the initial application and the date of the wedding.

Pre-marital Preparation with the priest normally consists of three to five meetings. The priest uses these meetings to help the couple understand their personalities, temperament and attitudes about issues that affect a marriage.

The Liturgy for the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage is a Sacrament of the Church, a request for God’s blessing upon a covenant freely undertaken by a man and woman for their lifetime. There are some options that a couple may elect; but the form of the liturgy itself is prescribed by the Church and neither the priest nor the couple is free to alter the liturgy beyond Prayer Book rubrics.

Announcing the Date of a wedding at the Cathedral may only be made after the couple has had an interview with the officiating priest, and he has given consent to perform the marriage. In the event a judgment is necessitated by virtue of a divorce, no announcement may be made until the Bishop has signified to the Dean his permission to have the marriage solemnized by the Church.

If Another Priest has Declined, for any reason, to officiate at a particular marriage, the clergy of the Cathedral are not at liberty to do so without prior consultation with the priest involved and his ready consent. It is the responsibility of the couple to make such circumstances known to the Dean. A priest of this Church has the discretion to decline to solemnize any marriage without indicating reason for that decision.

Weddings belong in the church. The clergy of the Cathedral will not officiate at weddings other than in a church, unless extreme pastoral circumstances indicate otherwise.

While planning, please keep in mind that Sacraments are actions between Christ and his faithful people. A marriage at the Cathedral is a celebration of the entire Parish Family of the vows made before God and the Church by the professing couple not a private activity accessible only by invitation. Please realize the social dynamic and tradition of this community of faith and honor the guidance of the priest during this time of preparation. While it is your wedding, it is also the Church’s witness to the Sacrament of Marriage.

Weddings must be arranged at such times as not to conflict with regularly scheduled liturgies of the Church.

Sundays and major feast days are not appropriate, because of the full schedule. Also, Sunday is avoided because it makes proper church attendance difficult, if not impossible, for members of the wedding party.

Lent. Weddings are normally not scheduled during the season of Lent.

Saturdays. Weddings may not be held after 6:00 p.m. on Saturdays due to the need to prepare the Cathedral buildings for Sunday liturgies.

Choosing a date. The Cathedral calendar is set by priority of programs which have been scheduled in advance. It is good to have an alternative date in mind.

Four Arrangements may be placed on the Reredos behind the Altar. Any of the florists in Hastings are familiar with the requirements for filling these arrangements. Other arraignments or potted plants are not permitted elsewhere in the church. No exceptions will be made.

Altar Flowers for a wedding are considered to be an offering to God, and are often used on the following Sunday as a thank offering from the couple, and then distributed to the sick and shut-ins of the Pro-Cathedral Parish.

Flowers or petals may not be strewn in procession.

Pew Decorations such as small bouquets, ribbons or simple wreaths may be placed on the center aisle end of the pews. However, they must be removed after the liturgy by the family or someone they have designated.

Seating may be reserved for immediate family members and may be marked or designated by ushers when seating the congregation as they arrive. The congregation will be seated in a way that evenly fills the pews rather than by association with the bride or groom’s family.

Seasonal Decorations of the Cathedral for special events or seasons, such as Christmas, may not be removed.

No aisle cloth or runner is necessary down the center aisle of the Cathedral due to carpeting already in place.

Candles normally used for the liturgies of the Church will be used for weddings. The so-called "unity candle" is not an appropriate theological symbol for marriage within the Anglican Tradition.

Throwing of rice, birdseed or any other substance is not permitted.

Dress for weddings should be kept simple, in good taste, and appropriate for the House of God. A dressing room is available in the Beecher Library for the bride and her attendants to dress for the wedding. The groom and his party will use the Youth Room near a restroom.

Consultation with the Music Director should be arranged early as soon as you have scheduled your wedding date with a priest. He will discuss music possibilities and advise the couple. The following points are to be observed.

Secular music is generally to be avoided for weddings at the Cathedral. The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage is a sacred liturgy. Any texts that are sung must, under the Canons and rubrics, be from the Bible, Prayer Book or other authorized services, the Hymnals of the Episcopal Church or be theologically consistent with them.

Determining appropriateness resides with the officiating priest in consultation with the Cathedral Music Director.

The Pro-Cathedral’s Organist has right of first refusal for all liturgies in the Cathedral, including weddings. Should a guest organist be desired, it must be with the approval of the Organist and under the supervision Cathedral Music Director.

Soloists are expected to contact the Music Director at least four weeks prior to the wedding and make necessary arrangements for rehearsals.

The Lord’s Prayer in the liturgy of the Episcopal Church is reserved for the entire congregation. Solo vocal renditions are inappropriate.

Bulletins can be prepared in the church office after the liturgy has been planned in consultation with the officiating priest and Cathedral Music Director. At least thirty days before the wedding all the necessary information must be submitted to the secretary. If the wedding falls near a major church feast such as Christmas or Easter, bulletin information may be needed even earlier. The fee for this service is listed below. Specialty papers are not included.

Couples desiring a booklet rather than the standard one page format may have it printed professionally. The office can prepare the bulletin for the printer. Booklets should be started at least 60 days before the wedding.

The purpose of the rehearsal is to prepare the wedding party to participate in the liturgy in such a way as to render praise to God and joy to the bride and groom. In deference to the nature of the liturgy and to the many people who must be on hand for a rehearsal, all members of the wedding party are expected to be present and on time.

Participation in the rehearsal should include the wedding party, parents of the bride and groom, Music Director and other persons involved with music, acolytes, readers and photographer.

Conduct of the rehearsal is to be prayerful and reverent. Any parties should be arranged so as not to cause delay, embarrassment or difficulty for any concerned. Such events are best scheduled to follow the rehearsal.

The marriage license should be brought to the rehearsal. With the Parish Register, the license will be signed by the bride and groom during the liturgy. Witnesses remain to sign documents after the wedding. The officiating priest will sign the marriage license and all other legal documents after the wedding and will insure that the license is posted to the designated county office and all other legal documents returned to the Cathedral office.

Photographs during the liturgy, including the processions, by either a professional photographer or members of the congregation, are not appropriate to the liturgy. The professional photographer may take pictures during the wedding liturgy from the west balcony or from the Sacristy. The Dean or officiating priest will provide instructions to the photographers and video taping professionals at the rehearsal.

Photographs may be taken in the church until 30 minutes before the liturgy. The photographer may have fifteen minutes following the liturgy for posed pictures in the Cathedral.

The Undercroft can be made available for the wedding reception. Arrangements must be made as early as possible by speaking with the Parish Secretary. The fee for use of the Undercroft is listed with the fee schedule.

The Sexton will clean the hall after the reception, but will not wash dishes. Those sponsoring the reception must see to the cleaning and re-ordering of the kitchen after the reception.

No alcoholic beverages may be served at social functions held at the Pro-Cathedral or its grounds.

All fees should be paid to the Cathedral Office by the day of the rehearsal and checks marked by name to those for whom they are intended.

Music Director (parishioners) $75
(non-parishioners) $125
If using soloists (in addition) $35
Sexton (overtime) $45
If Undercroft is used $60
Undercroft Rental $30
Bulletin (up to 200 copies) $50
Altar Guild (suggested donation) $45
Acolytes (gift not to exceed) $20

While there is no fee charged for the services of the priest, it is appropriate and customary to make an offering to his or her Discretionary Fund.

We are excited about helping you have the most joyful and Spirit-filled experience possible on your wedding day. Our clergy and people will be praying for you daily – as you prepare to enter into a covenant relationship with one another and with God. Our clergy are highly trained in pastoral care and counseling, and are steeped in the liturgical tradition of the Episcopal Church. Our desire is to assist you in forming a lifelong, committed marriage.

May God Richly and Abundantly bless you as begin this journey!

"We do not fall in love; we grow in love, and love grows in us." --Karl Menninger